January / February 2008

Beyond Extreme Makeovers

Well, here we are again. Funny how Jan. 1st rolls around about this time every year. It's almost a pattern. Depending on circumstances, I'm guessing that some of you are...

A) looking out at the remnants of the Great Blizzard of '08 and laughing about all of the earnest prognostications about global warming.
B) looking out, horrified, at the blooming roses in your yard while writing donation checks to Al Gore.

March / April 2008

Ark de Disaster

The ultimate definition of an optimist may very well be a person who looks out at a mass of brown, smushed foliage; twisted, broken, defoliated branches; and lumpy, gray-green lawn and says,

"Yup. Looks like it's going to be a good gardening season."

Who are these people?

N/A

May / June 2008

July / August

MacGregor Redux

"Hey, where's Stinky?"
"Mmmphrgbl?"
"Stinky!"
"Phbbmmrrggnndr."
"Didn't your mama ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?"
"Nrrp."

September/October

Girdling the Family Tree

I need to unburden myself.

No, I'm not talking about figuring out what to do with the myriad of partially filled bags of soil amendments strewn about the garage.

I'm talking about my past. Aha! I knew that would get your attention

November/December 2008

Mike’s 3rd Annual Holiday Hort Sing-Along

Don’t you just hate it when columnists fall into that trap of using the same old formulas year after year after year, simply because they don’t have the creativity or they’re too lazy to come up with something new?

Yeah, me, too.

On that note, by popular demand (thanks, Mom!) I present the third installation of my not-so-award-winning gardening words to popular carols. If you need to acquire music rights, you’re on your own, pal.